The anthology, Embraced by the Divine – The Emerging Woman’s Gateway to Power, Passion and Purpose, by Author Michelle Mayur, is a global collaboration of stories from “some of the most light-filled female way-showers of our time.”
Edie Weinstein offers a glimpse below into her chapter from the book.
A Sample Taste of Edie Weinstein’s Chapter, Authenticity – Revealing the Real
“I came to the gathering with an intention to explore a longstanding issue. On December 21, I noted the 15th anniversary of my husband’s death. I honor what Michael and I shared in the 12 years we were together, as we co-published Visions Magazine from 1988–1998, which seed-planted the crop that became my career as a journalist. I acknowledge the joys and sorrows, the pain and pleasure we experienced as perfectly imperfect soul mates who unpacked our baggage with each other, butted heads and blended hearts. Since then, I have had short-term relationships and (mostly) exquisite lovers (with a few “Oops, what the heck was I thinking?” men tossed into the mix), but have not met anyone with whom I could imagine sharing a life. I have been doing a great deal of inner work, figuring out what a healthy relationship could look like, since I have been on my own for so long. I wanted the group’s guidance for sorting through the piles and stacks of stuff that were standing in the way of what I both craved and cowered to anticipate. I have an amazing life, filled with friends who are my treasures, unlimited creative outlets, extraordinary adventures and an attitude of gratitude that fuels it all. And yet, there is wistfulness, asking “What’s wrong with this picture that I haven’t yet found someone with whom I can share the wealth?”
As I began to speak, I noticed that my throat felt like it was closing up and my solar plexus seemed constricted. I asked the group to take a few deep breaths with me and let out a sigh/moan in unison. It was a freeing experience that allowed me to express what was on my mind and in my heart. My friend Janet, who has known me the longest, spoke up and pointed out, ‘I notice you use the word tap-dancing a lot.’ I often describe myself as, ‘Little Shirley Temple, tap-dancing for approval,’ a pattern that developed in childhood. She then asked me to put those words into action by literally tap-dancing while I continued talking about my feelings of being the caregiver in most of my relationships with men. I had a fear that no man was strong enough to support me emotionally. In very short order, I noticed myself getting winded and tired and my friends encouraged me to continue both tapping and speaking. I did that until the tears began to flow. They had asked me what else I wanted, in addition to this relationship. I told them I wanted to …”